Steve's Mom's Spaghetti Sauce

When you think of homemade spaghetti sauce, you may think of old Italian grandmothers (yes, the same ones we pissed off by cheesing our tilapia) standing over huge pots and stirring, stirring, stirring all day long. But to me, spaghetti sauce is romantic. It’s sexy. And Italian grandmothers? Not so sexy. That’s why the best part of this recipe is the fact that Steve makes it for me. So ladies, I urge you NOT to make this recipe. You need to make your man cook it. And if you don’t have a man, just invite one over and force him to cook it. Fair warning, you may fall in love (with the sauce, and the man.)

Half a large onion or a whole small onion.

Garlic, chopped. Three to four cloves.

Half pound of bacon.

1 16oz can Hunt’s tomato sauce

1 8oz can Hunt’s tomato sauce

1 Tbs butter

1 Tbs sugar

½ tsp oregano

½ tsp basil

¼ tsp cayenne (optional)

Parmesan cheese

Spaghetti

The first step is to pour yourself a glass of wine. Then, sit back and tell your man to get cooking. He should start by prepping the onion and garlic. Have him dice the onion, cutting it bigger or smaller based on your preference. We prefer ours a little bigger for some textural contrast in the sauce. Don’t be afraid that the garlic and onion will ruin the romance later—if you both have garlic breath, it cancels out! Next, have him cut the bacon into bits, about ¼ inch. He should warm up a pan to cook the bacon first. Now would be a good time to put on some water to boil for your spaghetti. Add a little olive oil to the water to stop the spaghetti from sticking together. Have him fry the bacon to the desired doneness. It can be a little under since it will have more cooking time in the sauce later, but if you like it crispy, now’s your only chance.

When the bacon is done, have him take it out of the pan (a draining spoon works well here) and sit it on a few paper towels to soak up some grease. He should pour out almost all of the grease, leaving just a little to do the onion and garlic. Add a little pepper to the onion and garlic and cook it until the onion is clear and soft. Tell him to be careful not to burn the garlic with a pan that’s too hot. When the onion and garlic is done, he should turn down the heat to a simmer and add the tomato sauce, herbs, sugar, bacon and cayenne. Have him swirl in the butter and stir until it’s completely melted in. Simmer for about ten minutes. (Now’s a good time for that romance I was talking about.) Hopefully your water is boiling by now, so you can cook the spaghetti. This is the only step in the process that I actually handle myself, but feel free to have him do that part too.

Once ten minutes of smooching has passed, it’s ready to serve! (If you go a little longer, don’t worry, it’ll keep.) Sprinkle on some parmesan cheese and serve with garlic bread. Candlelight and some nice wine completes the romantic evening. As for what to serve for dessert… I’ll let you handle that. Buon appetito!


(Click here for printable recipe)